Mar. 24th, 2009

missfrost: (frost)
I had egg, chips and beans for my lunch, which sounds a bit 'vegetarian' for me, but don't worry, I roasted the chips in some lamb fat. Egg, chips and beans was one of my favourite meals when I was about four years old, and I always find it a very satisfying and comforting thing to go back to, particularly after a week of eating beautifully cooked, well-sourced meat with fresh vegetables. A nice helping of nursery food is often just the ticket. I had red sauce too. I don't know where I'm going with this, does anyone care what I had for lunch?
I had some odd feelings of suicide the other day. I had seen about ten minutes of Ten Years Younger, the bit where they get some yoof to comment on why this woman was mutton-dressed-as-lamb, and the woman was three years older than me. So I realised that in other people's eyes I am old, and that there's no escaping that fact, and maybe I should get a haircut and stop falling out of  nightclubs at 4am. And from that it logically followed that if I am that old, I am pretty much done with life and I should end it. This wasn't in any way a feeling of hopelessness, or 'what's the point?' but simply a logical feeling that I've done most things worth doing, and I don't have much to look forward to, and nothing's going to change from here on in, so why carry on? Again not a woeful, depressed thought, but logical in the way that you'd get rid of any other thing that had reached the end of its use, like throwing out a pint of milk that's gone off. I am slightly worried that this still all feels like an eminently sensible idea to me, but then I have just done 32 hours overtime in three weeks and may perhaps be a little tired and screwed up.

For those of you who were concerned, the reason I am hating StreetView is that I have lived in eighteen different places in two major cities, and practically nowhere I have lived makes it - one place I lived in when I was three, one in which I spent a largely unhappy time, and one I loved but which is completely obscured by a giant tree.

Profile

missfrost: (Default)
missfrost

May 2009

S M T W T F S
     12
34 5 6 7 8 9
10 111213 141516
17 1819 20212223
24252627282930
31      

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 23rd, 2017 06:54 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios